I've been mostly lurking recently, as I haven't really had time to keep up with conversations, but I have an issue and I need... I don't know. Advice? Encouragement?
First, the good news: I have an interview for my dream job in Paris, France! OH MY GOD OH MY GOD OH MY SPAGHETTI NOODLE! Um. I have a shit ton to do to prepare, but I think I can get it done in the 2 weeks left before my interview. I'm trying to be as optimistic but also as realistic as I can about this. I want to show them my enthusiasm for the position, but I also have to realize that if I'm not chosen, I still have to work in Current Job. Which recently has felt downright shitty.
Current Job: After getting a glowing review my first year, where I was told there were "no issues at all" with my continued employment, shit has been hitting the fan. Without going into too much detail, I'll just say that I've been going at full speed / full intensity for too long. I took on too much my first year because my department is way understaffed - I thought I was a superhero, but it turns out I'm a regular person and I started to come apart, and I snapped at people (never meaning to, but just out of exhaustion / bouncing from thing to thing with 0 time for reflection on any of it), and now I have a reputation for Being Rude, Not Caring, Being a Bad Person, and etc. Add to this, that they will NOT take kindly to me interviewing for another position, so I'm trying to keep that a secret, although it will involve me missing work and an Important Meeting, therefore in their minds adding to me Not Caring (supposedly).
Rather than being at all supportive, every conversation I have with my department superior feels like they're prosecuting me in a court of law. I am given NO benefit of the doubt, not even for being overworked and stressed and having too much placed on my shoulders too soon, despite me trying to point out the timeline of things I had taken on and how that varied from the mutually-agreed-upon "easy" first year. Apparently no one in the history of ever has had Issues, just me.
So, again, not sure what I'm asking for - maybe advice, if you have it. I know that might be difficult given the lack of detail. I'm not super comfortable saying more. I might in the comments, but if I do I'll have to delete the post later.
How do I keep my sanity and how do I stay upbeat for interview for Dream Job? My stomach has been in knots for days. I spent most of yesterday (I had a work-from-home day) sobbing and then napping. I really wanted to drown my sorrows in ice cream and booze, but I'm trying not to do that to myself.
ETA: photo, and I removed "Hi All" so you could read a little about the post before clicking on it. :)