(Previous post will go poof shortly for doxxy reasons.)
Thanks for the input guys, I was in a state yesterday, as-I think-some kids say.
So, I went into the office with the idea that I was going to do my best to work it out through at least August, while furiously networking on the side.
I spent all morning preparing for a follow-up meeting with my supervisor.
I explained that i had been a bit upset by how quickly this seems to have escalated to HR, and that I wanted to work with her to figure out how to make this better.
Then I went through the various points that had been raised about my job performance.
(a. that I’m not enough of an independent operator...Two months onto a job with unclear parameters, where I came in with zero background
b. that I’ve been ill prepared, including for a meeting I was supposed to lead yesterday....Mind you I was informed the day before, and I prepared an agenda and extensive notes so that I could give a comprehensive overview of the project. Apparently I should have provided handouts and that was their last straw...)
c. etc...not worth going into everything)
Anyway, she handed me the memo she had written to HR which was an employee job corrective plan basically. And I read it and then tried to segue into a conversation where we talked in specific terms about what I needed to be successful, both on my end and on hers. She basically brushed me off and told me to read the memo more closely, and that we would talk about it more at a later date.
At multiple times during the meeting, she reiterated to me that I needed to think about whether this position was a good fit for me.
I walked away with the very strong impression that she has zero interest in working with me on any of this and just wants me gone.
I technically go off new hire probation at the end of the month. While they’re refusing to say directly (I presume for legal reasons), from context clues, it seems like they are working around that deadline, because that’s when I’d start to be eligible for unemployment.
I think that a large problem is that they want me to my predecessor. He was there for years before me and had an extremely different operating style. I’ve actually made a point not to emulate that style because I think it was a somewhat shitty and unprofessional way to operate but that’s another story.
However, the point is that I’m not him, and that’s not a problem that is going to be solved with mediation.
I’m insanely, crazily privileged in that I don’t NEED unemployment benefits. It would obviously be much easier to have them, but I have a sublet that’s paid through the end of the month and I’ve been able to substantially replenish my savings since May. And if I have to move back in with my parents in Sept, its not ideal, but I’ll do it.
I don’t see how they are going to let me stay through August if they are also not willing to work with me here .
I also am trying to think about what will look better on a resume/ background check at this point. two-three months at a job after a year of unemployment is going to look crappy anyway you spin it, but is it better to be forced out and fired? Or is it better to say that it was a bad fit outside of the field I wanted to be in, but we parted amicably? (Can I ask for some kind of a reference letter?)
Finally, I’ve recently come to the conclusion that I want to apply for PhD programs for 2018. I suppose, provided this comes to fruition, that this gives me some flexibility in terms of how I present these intervening 2 years on my resume, no? Or perhaps not...
Anyway, this is all to say that I walked in today with the idea that I was going to stick it out through August, but now I’m circling back to the idea of talking to my boss tomorrow about an amicable, reasonable transition period.
It’s a risk on my part, and it’s scary as fuck to think about unemployment again. Plus there is a real impulse to not give them what they want by leaving, because and I repeat, they are being ABSURD.
On the other hand, I’m honestly concerned about staying here and the situation degenerating.
I can afford it for now. It’s not going to be fun. But I can afford it.
More broadly, I feel like I have a history these days of being talked into a lot of situations, and then staying even though I was miserable, because it was the correct thing to do.
I’d kind of like to try the opposite of “the correct thing” here. It’s scary as fuck and it feels like it might come back to bite me here, but it honestly feels a little exhilarating.