thanks to this TOTALLY NOT CRAZY PERSON with a youtube video.

Among other conclusions, the video decides that Michelle has "male hands," because

a man's ring finger, is typically longer than a man's index finger … While it is not uncommon for a woman to have the ring finger and index finger at very similar lengths, it is almost unheard of for a woman to have a visibly longer, ring finger

Read more at http://wonkette.com/544134/wingnut…

BOTH MY RING FINGERS AR LONGER THAN MY INDEX FINGERS. Apparently I'm a man, baby.