Welcome To The Bitchery

In the past week I have been bullied in many ways: by evil corporations (two banks!), evil colleagues (unnecessary and unfounded rumor spreading), evil luck. But tonight I have reached my limit, and am ready to dole out punishment, or the strongest form of nonconfrontational justice I can muster. And I'm crowdsourcing it.

Yesterday I got to work late because I had to do some morning work on another campus. Seeing as there were no spaces left near work, I parked on a residential street nearby. No permits, no restrictions applied, lots and lots of open spaces. I then biked home last night and again biked in this morning, meaning I didn't drive my car home until tonight. When I arrive at my car I see something a lot like this:


Only at both ends of my car, despite there being no cars on either end of the cars boxing me in, and virtually no other cars on the street. 10 seconds later a woman is screaming at me about how horrible and inconsiderate I am because SHE HAS CHILDREN and she couldn't park DIRECTLY in front of her house. Despite the fact that she has, y'know, a big ole wide open DRIVEWAY and seemingly nothing to prevent her using it. But y'know, if she parked in her driveway, she wouldn't have been able to box me in with her super expensive BMW. She then threatens to call the police on me, to which I reply, yes please! I've done absolutely nothing wrong. She then threatens that she will not move her car so that I can leave the space, and subjects me to more screaming fits. I then point out, in stammered breaks between her screaming, that she's done this because she doesn't like me parking near her house, but I can't actually fix that situation unless she moves her damn car. The whole thing probably takes 30 minutes. Because one day I parked, legally, in front of her house.

I really hate confrontations because they massively stress me out. I'm resentful that despite my following all laws and not infringing on her rights in any way, she's disrupted my day so severely through stress. I'm ready to fight this bullying injustice, so nonconfrontational options are:

-poop through the mail

-drop off some pamphlets suggesting new hobbies addressed 'to the lady of the house'

-buying a $200 junker and permanently parking it in front of her house (again, there are no long term parking restrictions, and we could afford this)

-taking the mature, moral high ground (not favored at the moment)


Share This Story

Get our newsletter