I have been fairly introverted for most of my life, but only recently have I begun to truly embrace it as something I don't need to be ashamed of. But a lot of my childhood/teen years were spent wondering why it was so hard for me to make and keep friends, and feeling like an utter failure for it. I have cried myself to sleep a lot in my 24 years.
The past few years, however, I've come to a place where I feel like I understand myself and my needs, and I don't beat myself up for not having the same social landscape that other people do. Most of the time.
Today is one of those days where I am feeling very lonely - particularly because I wasn't invited to a wedding for a friend I was very close to in school. All of our mutual friends were invited, so I am seeing a lot of pictures on facebook and instagram, and just feeling like a general loser because I couldn't maintain any of my relationships with those people once we graduated. Today I don't feel content with my introversion, I feel betrayed by it, isolated, injured.
I'm probably just going to go home and eat dinner with my boyfriend and the cats and act like this never happened when I see any of them on the street. In a day or two I'll go back to being perfectly happy with watching netflix most nights and never going out. But for right now, I'm feeling downright sorry for myself.