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Illustration for article titled Kids these days

Five neighborhood kids decided it was a good idea to burn socks in my backyard today. I live in a quadplex with a huge shared yard, and I've had more than a few problems in the past year. This afternoon, I was enjoying my very quiet Sunday when I smelled a weird chemical odor filling the room. I step outside and see the kids (one from my quad and the rest from next door) burning socks in a bbq grill. They were doing this three feet from the building. Just open flames dancing in the breeze. Not a care to be had while the smell of kerosene wafted from their grubby little fingers.


I had to go talk to all the parents, and one of them had the nerve to give me some dumbass excuses: bad influences, bad precedents, blah blah blah. Your kid's hair and eyelashes are singed from his curious experiments. Can I get a "don't set the fucking building on fire"? Or how about a "thank you for making sure my kid didn't burn his ass up"... I would shake my fist in the air and scream about kids these days, but I should probably buy some extra rental insurance first.

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