Just wanted to send a quick shout-out and let everyone know, me and Kinja are fine. Stop worrying, stop calling the police, stop posting all those frantic Facebook posts. Seriously, we're totally cool!
For those of you who don't know, let me fill you in!!
So, Sunday night I was all like bummed from the Emmys cuz some people whose shows I don't watch won over some shows I'm like SUPER obsessed with. I was bumming for real. And then Kinja was like 'hey, Burt, whatcha doin?' And I realized Kinja was all alone and kinda lonely. I asked Kinja if it parties a lot and Kinja got all shy. Kinja said that parties weren't really part of their lifestyle, and in fact, Kinja is forbidden to 503, aka party in weird nerd coder terms.
So, you guisse—I just thought maybe I could take Kinja out, have a few laughs, kick back and get Kinja to unwind with a drink. Or two. Whatevs; no pressure dude, it's aaallllll good.
I told Kinja it would just be one drink, OK? So don't blame Kinja. We met at this bar and me and Kinja just started talking about our lives and how we feel like we're under constant pressure to live up to people's expectations and stuff. And also there some stuff about NSA and it turns out Kinja and Prism used to date. BUT OMG TALK ABOUT CLINGY!!!! Kinja told me Prism was like, a total stalker. Followed Kinja around everywhere, until Kinja was like 'for real, we need some space.' And then that's when things got all fucked up.
Anyway, so Kinja is telling me all this all like "I just want to have one drink, I don't want to get drunk and do anything stupid, lol." But you know me, lol.
Pretty soon one drink turned into five or fifteen and withing a few hours BOOM we're down in Mexico kickin' it with some hella cool dudes we met at this one bar who invited us to hang on their boat! Jeah! Whatevers; haters gonna hate!
You guys should totally join us here on this boat except right now we have to hide in this closet because the dudes said it's cool for us to hang out on the boat anytime we want except when the owners come by we have to hide and stuff.
Mexico is awesome you guys!!! Kinja says this is a total blast! I promise to bring Kinja back like for real by as soon as tomorrow. I just have to talk to these Federales about my passport and stuff...