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Kitchenette: More Foods That Should Not Exist

Illustration for article titled Kitchenette: More Foods That Should Not Exist

It's Wednesday, and you guys know what that means. The theme this week? Crazy Shit We Ate As Kids. I think I took out years of repressed hatred of Gushers and Capri Sun on this article. God help us all.

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BTW, watch: I'm sure there will be at least one asshole who finds a way to consider my mockery of these foods offensive. I'm betting it'll be based around some nebulous definition of "classism" and that they'll conveniently ignore the fact that I repeatedly state that I grew up eating ALL of these damn things (and still buy one or two of them, because I'm a goddamned masochist).

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Also, big, BIG thank yous on this one go to Everything is Shiny (who for the second week in a row listened to me bounce it off her at 3:30 AM as she struggled valiantly to not fall asleep), and especially to Smithwellette, who helped me heavily edit it and turn it from a complete shitshow into something that actually looks pretty decent, on balance. Maybe it's not at the level of the Thanksgiving one, but I feel like that's probably my magnum opus. Anyway, if you liked this entry, chances are its because of her edits, so huge credit to her here.

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