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Illustration for article titled Kitchenette: The Most Bizarre Story Submissions Ive Ever Received

Our theme for this week is stories so ludicrous that they'd sound made up — if anyone had the creativity to make up shit this bugfuck insane. If nothing else, read the third story, because in seven years of customer service, I've never heard ANYTHING that incredible. The image above will make sense as soon as you read that story.

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