So on Labour Day Monday, my MiL had a family get-together. Mr. Ivriniel and I were the last to arrive, and apparently we missed a couple of things.
First off, when the Annoying Inlaws arrived, ASiL handed our MiL a pamphlet on “How to Have Successful Dating Relationships.” This came out of nowhere as our MiL doesn’t discuss her dating with ASiL.
The Annoying Inlaws were there early because my MiL is pressuring them to get ABiL’s junk out of her basement where it has been for 5 years, since he moved out of the house he shared with his first wife. So they dug around in the basement for a while. (This becomes important later.)
After they were done in the basement, they came back up stairs and suddenly and randomly, ASiL is talking about her miscarriage from over a year and a half ago,many is ranting about how awful the Doctor at the Emergency Room was for saying “You are aborting this pregnancy.” ABiL apparently tried to explain to her (not for the first time, as I saw him explaining it in a comment to a Facebook post she made on the topic a few months after the miscarriage) that spontaneous abortion is the medical term for miscarriage while everyone sat around awkwardly. Both MiL and OSiL, who was also there, have had miscarriages, but they have learned through experience that ASiL interprets any attempt to show empathy and comisserate with her on any topic is as attempted completion.
By the time we got there the annoying in laws were lazing on the couch, and ASiL was moaning about how she was so tired that she was finding it hard to form sentences. (Why couldn’t that have happened earlier?)
About the only time she engaged in conversation after that all evening was when ABiL decided this was a great time to talk about how the Catholic Hospital that he works at is holding staff ethics discussions around physician assisted suicide. No one responded to him the first two times he brought up the topic of conversation, and the third time, ASiL got very animated. Everyone knows ASiL has unresolved issues around the death of her father, who died of a degenerative disease. She kept going on and on about how when her father died the only things they could do to speed it along was to withhold food and water. I cannot for the life of me figure out why ABiL would bring this topic up in front of his wife, given how sensitive a topic it is with her.
A while after that, Niece was asking for pretzels. It was nearly dinner, so I asked ASiL if she could have some. ASiL just sat on the couch staring off into space. I speak to her again, calling her by name. Nothing. Niece is getting more insistant, so I ask again multiple times. I am ignored. By this point Niece is trying to climb on the table to get the pretzels, so I tell her to go ask her Mommy. Niece has to get right into her mother’s face to get a response, which was no.
And after that, OSiL tried to ask ASiL if they should heat up the sauerkraut she brought to go with the sausages, and couldn’t get even an aknowledgement, either. (My lord, it was bland sauerkraut. She apparently told OSiL it was nothing but cabbage and salt. She also brought dill pickle chips that were incredibly bland as well. )
The annoying Inlaws pretty much spend the rest of the evening sitting on the couch watching stuff on Netflix. We figure the only reason they hung around was for free food and babysitting.
Remember how I said it would be important later that the Annoying Inlaws were in the basement? Wel, it turns out that while they were down there at some point they gave Niece a diaper change. And put the dirty diaper in a little garbage bin in the laundry room that my MiL only uses for dryer lint. This was one of three dirty diaper surprises that my MiL uncovered in her house over this week. She kept smelling something bad in the house and also found one in her upstairs bathroom and one in the basement bathroom. Who does that?
And I guess this means that ASiL went ahead and took that potty training break she was talking about with Niece who is now three and a half years old.
As far as ASiL diving into the awkward monologue about her miscarriage goes, a couple of weeks ago, ABiL told Mr. Ivriniel over the phone that she was still very depressed about it, so I suspect this is not the first time she has done this lately. ABiL said he was going to try and get her some help, though he talked about doing it through his work EAP. EAPs are designed for short term counselling to a maximum of 10 sessions and it seems to me that this ain’t going to do it for her.
The thing is, she hasn’t talked about her miscarriages (she had two in the space of three months, though the second one seems to be the one she is particularly fixated on) for quite a while and then suddenly in the last month seems to have started talking about it again. I hope she isn’t pregnant again. When she was pregnant with Niece she couldn’t stop talking about how tired she was.
I suppose it is also possible that someone around her is pregnant again, like her younger sister who has 2 kids already.