It's 9:30 am. I've been here since 6 am. You're too loud.

I do not give a shit that you come to do spin classes here on Sundays because your other gym is closed, or whatever the fuck you were telling me. I'm happy to hear that you beat cancer. But you still need to fill out the paperwork.

Oh, the other girl doesn't make you fill out paperwork? Well I'm not the other girl, and I'm not losing my job because you told me it's cool to just let you in. No, really, you have to sign this form saying that if you die, it's not our fault. Seriously, lady, STOP FUCKING YELLING AT ME.

Yes, it's unfortunate that the world is politically correct, and sure, you should be able to tell everyone Merry Christmas without those sensitive people getting "offended." It's $15 for the spin class. Please just sign the form. For the sake of god sign the form and go.

No? You're gonna keep telling me about your weight loss adventure? Ok.

I'm sure you have been coming here since July. Really, I am. I've only been working here since June and spent the first 2 months and plenty of time since then working the Sunday morning shift, and I've never seen you in my gym. Yes, the other girl knows you. The blonde one. Do I look the other blonde girl? Please don't yell at me that you only come on Sundays. Please don't do that. I've worked plenty of Sundays. I'm usually awake for most of the shift.

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No, there's no way for me to store you in the system unless you're a member. Really, there isn't. If you could stop banging the desk and yelling, that'd be great. You already signed the forms ma'am. Just go in the spin room. I'll see what I can do about the paperwork.

*Note - I was not nearly this polite throughout the actual exchange. I had some serious snark going on, especially when she starting banging my desk. Don't bang my fucking desk.