My birthday is tomorrow. I'm turning 20. I should be happy, but in reality I'm having very selfish thoughts. For my two best friends' birthdays, I went all out (or as far as I could on my broke ass budget). I tried so very hard to make sure they knew how much I love them/appreciate them/etc. Because they truly are wonderful.

But when it comes to reciprocating the love, I don't get much. I feel so shitty even thinking these thoughts but it's gotten to the point where I dread my birthday coming because the inevitable happens and I receive a text saying "Happy birthday love!" and am reminded just how... not worthy I am, I guess is the best way of putting it. I know how bad it sounds but damnit I just want a nice dinner with my friends. This will be the third year in a row where we are in close proximity and I am not looking forward to Friday at all. I'll probably treat myself to a mani-pedi and call it a day.

Ugh. Egocentric rant over.