Welcome To The Bitchery

Law Enforcement Questions, and Whining

Groupthink, you're my only hope. (No Mainpage Please)

So, for those who don't know, I finally got a job (sort of). It is in law enforcement. I start the training academy tomorrow. If I manage to pass everything over the next seven weeks, I'm officially in.

Questions, I haz many.

I want to know what to expect (I went to the "orientation" on Friday, but that was mostly signing a bunch of paperwork). How physical is this going to be? I mean, I started about a month ago working out a few times a week to prepare, but I really don't think it will be enough. Are there things I could be doing to better "help" myself? Will I have to join some kind of gym? Is this going to be basically seven weeks of me getting "hazed" like a frat rush? Am I going to die (half-kidding)?


Were any of you asked to write up an "autobiography" when you started, because I was, and I really have no clue what to say. I am almost certain I will sound like a moron. I am also very afraid I will be called to read the damn thing in front of everyone. Should I expect them to be on the lookout for "bullshit speak"?

On to the whining: as part of our training, we have to wear workout gear. I thought we would just be wearing our own, already owned, exercise crap. But noooo. We were told to have a very specific list of items, in a very specific color palette (grey, black, and white), some of which will have to be specially emblazoned with our names. That would be fine, if they had told me when they let me know I'd been hired, over a month ago. But they told me Friday, which led to me running all over fucking town, trying to find shit that is nearly impossible to find given that 1.) I am a woman, and most athletic things made for women come in pink, purple, and whatever color the Easter bunny decided to throw up, and 2.) some of this stuff is basically sweats, which isn't exactly in season in the MIDDLE OF SUMMER. I bought a bunch of crap, but I'm still not sure if it meets all the requirements. And how much money am I expected to sink into all this shit? Cause I kind of can't afford it, what with being a poor, and all.

Also, we are supposed to have ALL of the requited items by Thursday of this week. No pressure tho. I mean, have fun going to look for impossible to find shit after going to work from 7am to 5pm. Mmkay.

That is really all I can think of at the moment. I'm sure I will think of some other things to write, but I need to try to get to sleep (and also try to crank out this stupid biography). But I doubt that will happen, given that I am really not used to going to bed at 10 pm. I'll bump this tread tomorrow if I have more questions (and as soon as someone tells me how to bump a thread).



Share This Story

Get our newsletter