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Fun fact: I never learned how to ride a bike.

I did the whole training wheels thing when I was little, and then right around the time when I should've been transitioning out of them we moved to "the Big City". My parents were too terrified I would be kidnapped or hit by a car, so my siblings weren't allowed to take me bike riding with them anymore. They were not the kind of parents who had the time/energy at that point to teach me themselves (exhibit A for why being the youngest child sucks soemtimes), so I just never learned. To be honest, I don't think I was super interested in riding a bike when I was a kid because I don't remember being disappointed about not learning. Maybe I just blocked it out? I mostly preferred to stay home and read or sing Mariah Carey songs in my bedroom and then reward myself with a huge bowl of rainbow ice cream.

Now that I'm an "adult", I really want to learn. I've always really hated most outdoor activities, like hiking and just going for a walk with no specific destination or purpose, but I think riding a bike is going to be my thing. I have horrible feet (crooked arches, weirdly spaced toes etc.) so walking places just hurts really bad no matter the shoe or in sole (I'm also a huge baby), but riding a bike seems like it'll be relatively easy on my feetsies.


So last night M.Bananas and I went to his moms for dinner a bit early so he could use her garage to do something to his car. It was a beautiful day and I casually mentioned that it seemed like a perfect day to learn to ride a bike. His sister volunteered to teach me, so they brought the bikes down and got me all suited up to go.

I got on the bike, and quickly realized that I had no idea what was happening. Bikes have brakes and gears? Since when? Why am I such a bike plebe? I didn't know how to get onto the bike, let alone think about brakes and gears. I'm also really scared to fall, so it was basically a disaster. I'd get some momentum to start pedaling, but then I'd freak out and put my feet down because the bike was going too fast and I kept forgetting that there's brakes. We did this for 2 hours. I would almost get going, but then I couldn't find the pedal fast enough and there were small children riding their fancy show off two wheeler bikes in the cul-de-sac and side eyeing me.

I know that I shouldn't expect to learn to ride a bike in one evening, but it was a rather disheartening experience. M.Banana's mom said she's going to buy me some training wheels and I'm okay with that. I honestly don't think it's possible for me to look any more stupid than I did yesterday. Well, maybe it is, but at least I'd be riding the bike instead of awkwardly running astride it.

Any adult bike learners with tips? Or parents with kids who are just learning? I feel like a big loser right now :(


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