Jezebels and Jezebeaus,

As some of you know, I am currently opening a brand new hotel which is awesome. my Brotastic boss is totally into trendy food, so you know what I figured out? Cronuts hivemind, sweet, sweet, Cronuts. And because I am totally trolling for karma I will share the secrets with you. It will be sorta complicated and kind of a pain, but it is totally worth it.

For the Danish pastry

  • two 1/4-ounce packages (5 teaspoons) active dry yeast
  • 2/3 cup sugar
  • 1 teaspoon salt
  • 3 large egg yolks
  • 2 teaspoons vanilla extract
  • 2/3 cup milk
  • 3 3/4 cups all-purpose flour
  • 3 sticks (1 1/2 cups) cold unsalted butter, cut into bits



For the filling

  • 8 ounces cream cheese, softened
  • 1/4 cup granulated sugar
  • 1 large egg yolk
  • 1 teaspoon vanilla extract
  • 1/4 teaspoon salt
  • 2 teaspoons freshly grated orange zest
  • 1 teaspoon freshly grated lemon zest
  • 2 tablespoons all-purpose flour



Okay, so this is a pretty simple cheese danish filled one, but I promise guys, you could fill a cronut with rocks and it would be freaking awesome.In a bowl beat together the cream cheese, the sugar, the yolk, the vanilla, the salt, the zests, and the flour until the mixture is smooth and chill the filling. It doesn't need to be 100 percent cold, but you don't want it hot on the dough.

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Now for the complicated part. I'm gonna teach you to laminate dough. This is how we mere mortals make croissant and danish and puff pastry and basically anything super delicious with many many layers. it uses a combination of yeast and the trapped steam to make it rise and be super light.

In a large bowl proof the yeast with 1/4 cup warm water for 5 minutes, or until it is foamy, and stir in the sugar, the salt, the yolks, the vanilla, and the milk. Add 3 1/4 cups of the flour, stirring until the dough is combined well (it will be soft and slightly sticky), and chill the dough, covered, for 1 hour. On a cool surface (preferably marble) beat the butter with a rolling pin until it is smooth but still cold, add the remaining 1/2 cup flour, and blend the mixture quickly until it is smooth. Working quickly, form the butter mixture into a 6-inch square and chill it, wrapped in plastic wrap, for 15 to 30 minutes, or until it is firmer but still malleable. On a well-floured surface roll the dough into a 12-inch square, lay the butter diagonally in the center of the square,

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and fold the corners of the dough tightly over the butter like an envelope, enclosing the butter completely. Brush off any excess flour and pinch the edges of the dough together to seal them. With the rolling pin flatten the dough gently with uniform impressions and roll it from the center away from you to within 1/2 inch of the end. Turn the strip 180° and roll the dough again from the center away from you to within 1/2 inch of the end. Continue to roll the dough in this manner until it forms an 18-by 8-inch rectangle. (It is important not to roll over the ends in this first rolling to help the later formation of even layers of butter and dough.) Brush off any excess flour from the dough,then grab your filling out of the fridge and apply a kinda thick layer on the entire dough. Fold the top quarter of the rectangle down to the center of the strip, and fold the bottom quarter of the rectangle up to the center, leaving about 1/2 inch between the 2 ends. Fold the top half of the dough over the bottom to close the dough like a book. Turn the dough 90° so a short side faces you, roll it again into an 18- by 8-inch rectangle, and fold it in the same manner. This completes 2 "turns." Chill the dough, wrapped in plastic wrap, for 1 hour. Make 2 more turns in the same manner, always beginning with a short side facing you and chilling the dough, wrapped in plastic wrap, for 20 minutes or so be tween turns. Chill the dough, wrapped in plastic wrap, for at least 4 hours or overnight

.

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Once your dough is nice and cold, and you're bemoaning the fact that this had to be so damned complicated. pull your dough our and make its about half the desired thickness of your final cronut. Cut your desired shape, let them rise for about 45 minutes.and fry at 325. I'm serious when I say they fry crazy fast. so stand there and watch the.

I like to dust mine with powdered sugar. Enjoy your diabetes.