Grab a big old glass and pour out a shot of haterade.
It’s time for a Tuesday night “Shit We Randomly Despise!” Tonight’s topic- shitty commercials!
Tonight at bat- yogurt commercials. They are gratingly twee-I hate your stupid French face and your stupid French accent Yoplait lady and I will NOT eat your less sugar yogurt. Or weirdly gendered, because we need specific commercials to sell dudes milk that is full of lactobacillus. No. Stop that. It’s goddamn yogurt, just fucking eat it or don’t but stop making stupid man yogurt commercials. I don’t give a shit if football players eat it because it is goddamn milk that has gone bad in a very specific way. It’s just sour cream with sugar. Suck it up and eat the yogurt assholes. Lastly can I get a resounding Fuck You! To the Dannon shrinky spoon lady because those are not your cookies. That is not your doughnut. That is OTHER people’s food and you can’t shrink it because YOU are on a diet you horrible monster.