Welcome To The Bitchery
Welcome To The Bitchery

We went shopping and did a little summertime 'spring' cleaning and I thought I let you guise take a look-see. So who wants to peek inside my cabinets and fridge?

Let's do this!

Illustration for article titled Lets All Look Inside Burts Kitchen
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Yes, we have a fuckton of pasta, rice and beans. And yes, HATERS, I buy pasta sauce in the jar because sometimes I don't want to stand around nursing a pot of slowly stewing tomatoes and garlic for 5 hours. And that is a sad, lonely, ashamed jar of Ragu Old World Sauce peeking out there. The other sauces don't talk to him. It's sort of like a Lyndsay Lohan in Mean Girls thing there.

Illustration for article titled Lets All Look Inside Burts Kitchen
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Oh what's that bro, you want to know if I have a potato masher? LOL potato ricer dude. For my fingerling potatoes. FINGERLING. Yeaaaaaaa.

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So this is the Wine Colding Box. I have some wine. Some more wine. Some beer. And yes that is a 2-litre bottle of cheap cooking wine. It's supposed to last about 6 months. It'll be gone by Friday. And then I forget what the hell all that green stuff is. Well, whatever it is, it will end up soaked in wine eventually, one way or another.

Illustration for article titled Lets All Look Inside Burts Kitchen
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Spice. Whore. For real. I do not fuck around when it comes to spices. I go on special trips to peruse spice importers. I make my own curry. AND my own garam masala. Want some cardamom? I got two kinds. In ground and whole pods. Whatever. Go home, Lawry's Seasoning Salt, you are drunk.

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White. Peppercorn. Whole Star of Anise. Cumin SEED. I TOLD YOU I WASN'T PLAYING.

(Also, LOL @ 'rubbed' sage hahahahaha. I am 12.)

Illustration for article titled Lets All Look Inside Burts Kitchen
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And here we have some more wine, of course. Yes, I made this table/kitchen isle. Yes, that'a turquoise Dutch oven. You want to touch it? Go ahead. You can touch it. And you can try out my mortar and pestle. I know you want to. What's that? Is that 'olive oil'. LOL no boo—that's avocado oil.

Oh and did somebody say 'olive oil'? BOOM.

Illustration for article titled Lets All Look Inside Burts Kitchen
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Oil and vinegar CABINET. I got more oil than a Jersey Shore reunion special. Sure, I could tell you that the dude who owns the specialty oil importers here knows me so well by now that he knows my name, but really that's NBD—-he knows when my dog's birthday is.

With all this fun stuff here in my kitchen, I think you know now what must be done.

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Illustration for article titled Lets All Look Inside Burts Kitchen

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