You had one. Whether it was LiveJournal or Xanga or a carefully-constructed Angelfire page, we all had one. Maybe you were smart and deleted yours, but I was not smart and I just re-discovered the LJ that I started in high school and kept up through my second year at uni. I'm so embarrassed. I was so obnoxious! I complained endlessly about being "frusterated" (the horror) and talked about how much I LOVE EVERYONE and I think I was also pretty obsessed with myself. It's funny to read. My world was so much tinier back then but everything felt momentous. I wrote four different entries about a school play audition. I described my 19th birthday party as "THE MOST IMPORTANT DAY OF YOUR LIES [sic]."

Here are some choice thoughts from a 17-year-old me including my disingenuous reaction to my "first time" watching porn. What a little shit I was. I had been watching porn for years at that point but felt I had to pretend otherwise and feign disgust. The best part is when someone in the comments gets really excited because they think I'm someone else.

Why are we doing this? Because we are masochists, and it's fuck-it-Friday. Fuck work! Fuck humidity! Fuck pants! Fuck it! Here's the whole thing! Eat your heart out, America!