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Let's all talk about my impossibly high standards for men

And OK Cupid.

Are there smart people on OK Cupid or is it just a cesspool? I'm drunk so let's talk about why I have a very difficult time with dudes (I don't have as much problem with women, but it's been awhile since I've been with a guy and I'd really like to change that).

So here's the thing. I'm pretty cool but I'm also trans. The pretty cool thing should outweigh the trans thing, but the trans thing still makes me nervous.


I'm attractive enough to get noticed by guys I'm not interested in. I'm pretty smart, I'm funny for a living, I'm in pretty good shape, I'm talented, I speak two languages and I've been to ten different countries. I would really like to meet someone who is in my league on some of that stuff, not everything. I'm really just looking for someone who isn't intimidated by me, who is smart and can keep up.

I know I'm not perfect, but I have my shit together. I know where I am in the world (I'm not the greatest beauty or the top of my profession, I'm smart but not a genius) and I'd really like to meet someone who's in a similar space. When I flirt and tease, I want someone who can keep up, who isn't a pushover but also won't push me around.

I don't have too much trouble attracting guys... the problem is that it's usually guys I'm not interested in and for me, dating guys I'm not interested in is a lot of work.

I'm kind of considering OKC because I'm in a new city and I basically work for myself. It's hard to meet new people. I know a few people through the performing community, but I also don't really want to spread the fact that I'm trans around there too much. I'm thinking that online dating would be a good place to meet people I normally wouldn't run into, but it's complicated.


Disclosure is a serious issue. I have a shiny new vagina, but I'm not really comfortable sleeping with someone who doesn't know. If I tell them right off, then they'll probably only see me as 'that trans chick' but if I don't tell them and we get to know each other and then it turns out that they're uncomfortable, that's just a big waste of time for everybody. I mean, I don't mind if someone is uncomfortable sleeping with a trans girl. I know that it's hard to handle if it's not something that you're familiar with and honestly, I don't want to spend my time convincing some dude that it's okay and that it doesn't make him gay...

The other problem is that if things do go super south, I'm fame-ish and I work in a very public place. It'd be super easy to ruin my life if you were a super dirtbag. I don't know if it will be a thing, but I'm always worried about accidentally pissing someone off and having them come back and try to make trouble for me.


Le sigh. I'm sorry this is super rambly, but if you guys have any tips for navigating the online dating world or brainstorms about meeting interesting people in general, I'd be interested in hearing them.

(this incoherent mash of words has been brought to you by Redemption Rye)

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