*please make sure you let the music play in it's entirety as you read this post, unless directed to do otherwise.
Hey there, everybody!! Welcome back! It's time to play your FAAAAVORITE game—Guess Which Bullshit Ad Is More Offensive!"
Contestant number one comes to us all the way from Motorola! Ladies and Gentlemen, meet The Feminine Mystique!
How about we take a look at what Motorola thinks is marketable to female shoppers, shall we?
Yes, Betty Friedan would be proud to have her life's work associated with this! Look at all the sparkly pink crap up there. My god, it's like a My Little Pony shit glitter all over Hello Kitty's house. Amazing. A pretty strong contender for some stupid bullshit, indeed.
But up next, we've got—-oh, hey! It's also another contender from Motorola! Let's take a look at—OH MY GOD.....HEY, HEY—stop the music a second here! Seriously, just one sec. I'll be right back.
[From backstage] Hey, Is this right? This can't be right. Somebody fucking Google this for me. Where is an intern when I need them? Out buying vodka? Oh OK then. Do you have it? Let me see, because you would not believe what my copy says this is called. Oh wow. Holy fucking shit. OK then.
*returns to stage, steps up to mic; clears throat*
Alright, hit the music again!
Up next, ladies and gentlemen, we have——"Wear It Well, Kemosabe."
Let's see here. We've got bicycle seat. An envelope. Some car keys. All things that make me instantly think....kemosabe. OK then.
So, take it away, Groupthinkers! Place your picks for which bullshit ad is more offensive! I'll announce the winner after I go wash the stench of unnecessary stereotyping out of my eyes!