Let's Read A Song of Ice and Fire part XI

A Clash of Kings part four! ~300-~400!

And it looks like right now I'm in that weird part right in the middle where things are just about to happen, but don't. No worries – things begin to go back into gear in these chapters. And now that the semester's begun, I'm going to have a lot of time to chew on things as they do so.

Tyrion: I'm not entirely sure I like where this wildfire idea is going. I don't see it going well for whoever's on the receiving end. But then again, hard to say who's going to be on the receiving end. In other news, Robb's messenger to the Lannisters arrived. They don't like his terms, but yeah, that was a given. The doomsday preacher brought up fire as well. Hmm… Time to think on this fire thing. And it turns out Cersei is human after all – or at least, she has something resembling a heart.

Bran: He remembers, but nothing coming of that yet. Oh well. Bran does a good job playing lordling, and the Crannogmen visitors seem interesting. And yet another dream where Bran sees through Summer's eyes – I figure Rickon can too. Still not sure how this ability will pay off for them, but I think Meera and her brother will be instrumental in making this aspect of Bran's character development pay off. Imagine if he could link with Summer while awake.

Catelyn: Catelyn treats with Renly – and I have to say, things with Renly are… interesting, to say the least. He looks like Robert, but acts nothing like him. Playing at tournaments on his glacial march north seems perhaps a touch naïve. Brienne of Tarth seems quite cool. Oh, and we meet Sam Tarly's dad – he's a bit of a douche, as we knew from Sam. Between the rainbow guard and seating Loras and not his wife at his right hand, there's not really any subtlety here about Renly, I think. And that's good. Selmy's out there as a wildcard. And then Stannis shows up.

Jon: Hey, remember what I said last time?

I'm beginning to think this Mance Rayder guy is either gathering the Wildings somewhere deep up there, or he's dead and there pretty much aren't too many people left.

Advertisement

Guess it's the first one. I was half expecting it to be the second, though. The real important thing here is the stay with this Craster fellow. Now, I don't much imagine he's terribly important, but that daughter/wife of his, Gilly, on the other hand. Did she do that freezing the world thing so she could beg help of Jon? Seems like it. I've got no idea whether Jon just royally screwed up by following his oath here or not.

Theon: The straight dope here is that Asha is every bit as cool as Theon thinks he is, and then some. Let me count the ways. She completely messes with his mind just because she can. She give him the inspiration for his ship's name: Sea Bitch. Bitchin' name for a ship, I tell you what. She pretends she's pregnant just to mess with Theon more. She can banter wittily way better than anyone else in the entire story, except maybe Tyrion, and if the two of them ever met the world would implode from the sheer awesomeness. Theon thinks he's playing her, but she's playing him so well he actually believes he's in control of the situation. He gets all grabby, she gets slappy. She gets him to reveal every thought he has about the other potential successors to the throne. She gets him to "fill her pretty head" with tales of war and Winterfell. Oh Theon, if you weren't so dimwitted you might realize that it's you who had the pretty head. And then she embarrasses him at the feast, just because she can. And while Theon gets to harry fishermen, she gets to try for a castle.

Asha's awesome and Theon's a fool, Q.E.D.

Things of importance:
* Adding Theon to the list of fools who say things that might be interesting.
* Asha and Brienne are pretty cool.
* Add Wildfire to the chain under Tyrion's machinations.
* The Lannisters are going to send a different set of peace offerings to Robb.
* Renly's offering to Robb is simple: Renly gets to be the king for real, and Robb can call himself King in the North if he really wants to.
* The Iron Islands are about to muck a whole lot of things up.
* So's Stannis.
* And Selmy's still out there.
* And that doomsday preacher in King's Landing. Between the burning sword, the wildfire, and that guy, I get the feeling Wildfire will be involved in making the real burning sword.
*Still not enough knowledge on this Mance Rayder guy to say much – but if he's preparing to do what the Old Bear thinks he's preparing to do, it's just going to be a bloodbath down south and by the time Dany gets there there won't be anything for her to be Queen of.

Advertisement

Predictions pulled out of my ass:
* Asha's going to die eventually, before Theon, and I will be sad because she's much cooler than he is.
* Stannis and Renly look ready to blitz each other out of contention. Dumbasses.