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**There will be spoilers**

If you haven’t already read them, I recommend the following from i09:

- Jurassic World: The Spoiler FAQ

- Jurassic World Is All Park, No Bite

I really can’t disagree with any of this.

- It’s not a particularly good plot. It doesn’t even make sense half of the time. Nothing about the Jurassic World park management structure or design makes sense! I got the sneaking suspicion that the place could be run by just three people who answer to no one.


- The characters are either straight from central casting, acting dumber than they should be, pointless or incomplete. Did you know Claire needs to become a mother to “get it”? Because ... story arc... character development... **hulk smash**. Chris Pratt is super hot when he’s not talking and mostly just douchey when he does b/c even though he’s right, everyone else has to be written as a total idiot in order to make him seem intelligent by comparison. Also, did you know he was in the Navy? He was in the Navy. That’s how come he knows about training velociraptors. Because he was in the Navy. (Ok, which of the screenwriters has a fetish for Seamen? Huh? Speak up!) It’s a good thing the kids’ parents are getting a divorce — otherwise, why would they bother to bond during the course of a dino attack, you know?

- Jurassic World exists in a vacuum with no connection between the events and the real world. Can you imagine Twitter and the 24 hr news cycle while that shit was going down? Not to mention the legal fallout and screaming phone calls from corporate. Not to mention the Costa Rican government being like, “The hell is going on over there?!” No way would Claire get to just waltz out of the warehouse at the end. There would be cameras alllll up in her face and a developing “I’ve made a huge mistake” look on her face.

That said, as terrible as it was, I can’t wait to see it again.

- It delivers on dinosaurs and that’s pretty much my Nerd priority here. Even if they’re fake, genetically modified, dinos. Even if the humans are besides the point.


- Oh, do I need another reason? Because, really, it just comes down to the dinos for me. If that’s not your thing, go see another flick.

So... what did you guys think?

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