Happy Friday! Happy Memorial day weekend!
So- I need some advice, some counsel, some two cents worth from the lovely 'Bels. It's sex advice- so it's a TMI kind of discussion- Be forewarned!
My SO and I are monogamous heterosexuals. We've got about two and a half years under our belts as a "couple"(not just dating- but declared BF/GF status). We're happy. We're committed. We have a good sex life, especially for LTR's in our thirties (one to four times weekly). Neither of us have any problems reaching orgasm, and we are pretty well communicative with each other about sex(it could probably be better- but that's probably true for just about everyone.) Our sex is what I would call "bread and butter" sex- a couple of old faithful positions, all the usual entry ports.
My best friend and her husband have began to towards an open marriage. He has a girl on the side he sexts with frequently, and she has a guy that she is physically intimate-stopping short of intercourse/oral- with on regular occasion. I know for a fact that I am not interested in an open relationship. When she and I talk, she often times alludes to the fact that they only attempted this structure because they were bored with the sex they were having. This terrifies me! Sex, to me, is an incredibly important part of a relationship. I can't imagine outsourcing such an intimate activity. So, I'm worried about the boredom factor.
But keeping things "spicy" isn't as easy in the real world as Cosmo would have you believe. New positions? He has a bum knee(and I'm plus size) so a lot of those are out. Talking dirty? We start and then dissolve into giggles. Costumes and role playing? He's not into it, and it's no fun if everybody doesn't have their head in the game. Spontaneous sex is hard- he is hypoglycemic and needs to fuel up before the act. When I tell him my worries, he assures me that if there is something he wants, he'll ask for it; but I have seen so many relationships of friends get mired into ruts and they almost always start with predictable, boring sex. Boring sex leads to taking the other person for granted, and that leads to fights and fighting leads to the dark side.
How do you guys keep things fun? Am I needlessly worrying myself into a frenzy?