"Can you write my essay for me? Like, pick a topic and write it? You're the writer in the family."

I can't call myself Dr. Girlfriend in this situation, because it's about my bro and that'd be gross. But I'm basically the Dr. DD The Sister.

The gist of it is that my brother wants to party. The problem is that he's in school. In another country. Where he's flying around to other countries. To party.

I talked to him on the phone or something, and, like a moron, I agreed to 'help' him. I know a lot about his topic area, and pulled some ideas for him out of thin air.

Because I'm his sister.

Me: "Can you send me a sample of your writing so I can at least get your style right?"

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BDD: "No."

Me: "I kinda need that..."

BDD: "They don't know me."

Me: "Well, it should be convincing..."

BDD: "They don't know me."

Me: "Come on, just send me an email-"

BDD: "I'll get you a gift. I donno. You have free time."

Me: "Dude, I'm in the middle of moving and I'm starting school-"

BDD: "You're the writer in the family."

Me: "Fine."

BDD: "Thanks. I'm gonna go party now."

Click.

I'm still waiting on the prompt.