Welcome To The Bitchery

Listen up, MONDAY

I managed to have a spectacularly horrible day yesterday, so you'd better not suck today. I won't handle it. If it gets to be too much, I will simply roll myself in a vat of cracker crumbs and wander, naked and be-crackered, into the local park, allowing the birds to devour me.

So just... don't.

Yesterday I accidentally killed a bird, y'all. I put down glue traps to catch the massive swarm of spiders we've had lately, probably due to all the intense rain. Against all fucking sense, a poor BIRD got caught on one of the glue traps. I spent yesterday feeling guilty and depressed.


Then we got harassed by some random assholes tooling around our neighborhood. They came to our unlit porch at like 10 PM asking to use the phone, which we refused because they were asking strung out and sketchy. Then they threw our garbage cans over (actually, our neighbors, but they didn't realize that), screamed threats and "faggot!" at us and I ended up calling the cops. Who, naturally, didn't show up until an hour later when they had booked it down the street.

So just fucking don't start, MONDAY. I am having none of your shit today.

Share This Story