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Loaded Post - lots to talk about

Happy Monday all!

I have multiple subjects to talk about and am far too lazy to compose individual posts for each. So here they are in no particular order. Feel free to comment on one or all :-)

1. Response to I Am Calm: This weekend I Am Calm (IAC) posted about changing names and how same sex couples are viewed differently than hetero couples when it comes to name changing. I initially responded by saying that I decided to change my name cause it felt “right” and that I wanted to “share” something with my spouse. I see now that 1) I was being a bit tone deaf and I deeply apologize if my original post read rude or insensitive, and 2) that my explanation wasn’t clear enough, even for me!


Taking time to really think on it, I will elaborate on why I changed my name. For most of my life, I have never felt I really belonged anywhere or with anyone. I am adopted but I look nothing like my family or the community I was raised in. I never really felt I fit in and I didn’t fit in with other Asians cause I wasn’t Asian enough (I’m a banana in a lot of ways). Anyway, I realized that by changing my name, it wasn’t to fit some form of patriarchy but to have an outward sign that I belong with someone; to finally have a shared existence with someone else.

Knowing this, I am able to see how shitty it is for same sex couples to deal with name changes. No one asks me who wears the pants in my relationship because of our last name; no one demands I keep my name cause they question the validity of my relationship; my last name is not seen as a public issue that strangers feel they have a right to dictate to me. As one half of a hetero couple, I see more clearly how fucking privileged I am.

SHOUT OUT TO IAC for giving me a simple prompt that allowed me to explore this :-)

2. Seattle Pride Parade: I went to the Pride parade, only the first part since I was carting along my child. The buzz was so positive and it was just a really great time. As I was leaving, I saw a small group (maybe 4 to 6) men protesting the parade with Jesus signs. One guy was yelling hate thru a speaker and the crowd booed him frequently. As I paused to watch the crowed, I noticed several things:

  • Two teens (maybe 16 to 18) turned their back to the guy and glitter bombed him hard.
  • One man tried repeatedly to hug the hateful man; hate man responded by yelling “don’t touch me!” like someone would scream about a spider in the tub.
  • A woman yelled at him that love is all that matters.
  • The bike cops nearby watched and some giggled during the “don’t touch me” part.
  • A young man walked up and waved a rainbow flag about 3 inches from hate man’s face (essentially doing the “I’m not touching you” bit).

I was really happy to see how this hate man and his group were treated. They were allowed their right of free speech but they were treated with the distain they deserved. As a friendly reminder, this is how a hate group was spoken to last year when George Takei was our Grand Marshall.


3. 23&Me Results: I followed through with it and just got my results back. My spouse said I looked happier this weekend and I think getting the results was part of it. So for the record, drum roll please....I am about half Korean and half Japanese. I always knew I wasn’t 100% Korean and it feels great to get confirmation. I think tonight, in honor of my ancestry, I am going to have some kim chee and sushi! :-)

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