^ This is the title out of some piece out of Missouri State (school paper? No idea) that got meme-ified on Twitter. Turns out it’s not an original idea.

Oh, lordy. How is this NOT satire? EDIT: lyrics below

saw your picture in a paper
Honeymoon in Jamaica, she’s a lucky girl
You look so grown up in your black tux
From a ball cap in a pick up, seems like another world
You and me and our big dreams, falling in love
We were two kids in the backseat, all fearless and young

I got the first kiss and she’ll get the last
She’s got the future, I got the past
I got the class ring, she got the diamond and wedding band
I got the boy, she got the man

Yeah there’s an old you that I knew,
Fake IDs to get into those spring break bars
Back woods on a four wheel, hanging on tight
I can still feel my racing heart
And now you’re cleaned up with a hair cut, nice tie and shoes
If things were different and I had a choice, which would I choose?

I got the first kiss and she’ll get the last
She’s got the future and I got the past
I got the class ring, she got the diamond and wedding band
I got the boy and she got the man

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I got the first kiss and she’ll get the last
We each got something, the other will never have
I got the long hair, hot head
She got the cool and steady hand
I got the boy and she got the man
I got the boy and she got the man