So some backstory before I get into the chunk of my post here: my best friend has been lonely and depressed about her singleness lately (moreso than usual) and it's starting to get out of hand. Like that's all she talks about. And I mean I get it, because I'm single and miserable too, but I try to find amusing distractions or at least focus on spending time with friends.
But she's been single longer and just had a potential relationship squashed— more on that here— and it's the holidays so she's feeling extra super duper glum. And the sucky thing is, for a multitude of reasons she's not great at meeting guys in the usual settings so every time she starts to date someone, no matter how brief or casual it is, she takes it seriously. There's nothing really strange or off-putting about her (she has an acerbic wit and can be snippy sometimes, but she can also be very charming when she wants) and she's very pretty and stylish, so I honestly think it's just a matter of her being too busy with work and school and being unwilling to go to parties and bars and things where you usually meet people.
SO what I really think would be a great boost to her self esteem would be if she were to join Okcupid and saw all the various menfolk telling her how beautiful and clever she is and flirting her up as opposed to her chasing after unavailable or uninterested men on Facebook. And I've suggested this to her numerous times, because I think it would be really easy for her to get her fill of flirting and flattery without necessarily having to take any scary risks.
The problem is she doesn't trust the site because in the past I've mentioned getting messages from weirdos and having done one meet up in person that was super awkward and uncomfortable. I mean you get a lot of misses in addition to the rare hits, but I think the nicer messages and conversations would make up for all the chumps.
I think what it's going to take is me using it and puffing it up to sound like it's been really great lately and maybe even going on a date with someone that isn't terrible. Maybe if she sees that it's not so bad and can lead to nice things, she'll be willing to give it a shot. Maybe she'll meet someone, but even if it doesn't lead to any serious new relationship happening, at least she'll get her groove back.
The issue then lies in me actually making that happen since I'm an immature sarcastic blob who never really tries very hard with that site and just sucks at flirting with men in general. :\