Or, Top 10 Reasons to NEVER be without car insurance.

10. In the 24 hours that your insurance has totally lapsed, that is when you WILL be slammed into from behind by a rich boy not paying attention.

9. The damage that didn't look so bad when you were concussed, whiplashed, shaken up, and screaming back at random motorists to "get your car and fat ass out of the road", will turn out to be the entire structural integrity of the car has been weakened and squashed in 2-3 inches, rendering it a complete and total loss.

8. Your insurance company will laugh and say, "Thanks for reinstating. No, no, we won't help you on this claim. It's closed. GOOD LUCK WITH THAT."


7. The insurance company of the liable party will laugh and refuse to reimburse you for a rental car that you have to give up after 4 weeks because you simple can no longer afford it.

6. Then you'll get a $500 bill tacked on to your car rental when it's discovered that some asshole hit you in the semi dark office parking lot where you work.


5. You'll then hire a lawyer that is only slightly harder to get in touch with than the Pope on Sunday. This will drag on for four and a half months.

4. In the meantime, you'll be carpooling with your husband, which now makes your 11 hour work days into 14 hour work days to accommodate both of your schedules. Sleep becomes a thing of the past.


3. Which leads to you having a serious flare up of old nerve damage that turns out to be related to the car accident, and you're going spare trying to work out rides and transportation to doctors, specialists, and the ER. Because that's really not enough stress to deal with, you'll be fired from your job, and have to fight to get any kind of adequate severance/compensation as a result of this fuckery. Enter lawyer number 2.

2. After five and a half months, just when it looks like the matter is finally going to be resolved (thanks to your truly epic screaming, meltdown, cry fest to the lawyer for dragging this shit out so long with little to no response), he will promptly die from a freak virus while on vacation.*


1. Six months later, you'll have the money from your accident, which is a quarter of what the vehicle is worth, only to find out that you're being penalized by the DMV for them misfiling your "HEY MY CAR IS FUCKING TOTALED. NO REGISTRATION IS NECESSARY ANY LONGER" paperwork. And btw - you still don't have a car.

So to recap: no insurance leads to huge hassles, which leads to job loss, crying, and dead lawyers, and may still not resolve your transportation issues.


MORAL OF THE STORY: IF YOU DRIVE, MAKE SURE YOU NEVER LAPSE ON YOUR CAR INSURANCE, ESPECIALLY IN CALIFORNIA. DON'T BE ME (unless you want to deal with crying, hassles, and dead lawyers, obvs).

* Yes, that is 100% true. I got final resolution paperwork on a Friday, sent it on a Saturday, was informed that my lawyer died the next Monday. Oh universe, U SO CRAZY.