Welcome To The Bitchery

Losing confidence rapidly

So I haven't gotten another job, though I have another interview (an office reached out to me unexpectedly today). I am stuck for the time being and it's really fucking tough.

I have been trying not to internalize all of the rejections and the slights from my coworkers. Because I do juvenile work and my boss doesn't believe that's important (stick on top of that how unpleasant/incompetent the last juvie attorney was) the other attorneys don't respect my job at all. That's translating to treating me like I'm not as smart or valuable as they are. That hurts. I excelled in school and I read voraciously because I love learning so much, and after a lifetime of thinking "at least I'm pretty smart" these other people are making me feel dumb.

I had a whole afternoon full of shitty cases - kids that had violated probation. I'd gotten one of them a chance last court date to stay out of jail if he followed the conditions. This time there wasn't anything I could say in his defense because, well, I went to bat for him last time in a big way and he messed up again. I'm sorry, but I have to maintain some credibility with the judge. The kid blamed me and said he might as well have defended himself and that's what my other clients say too. He had a breakdown and cried and yelled at his mother too...and he has obviously not had any parenting. I was another adult who failed him.


When I got back to the office a couple of colleagues took digs at me implying I'm incompetent and it was really not the time.

It is hard as fuck to get up and go there day after day. I went to a top 10 law school and had prestigious internships and accomplished a lot and this job has completely taken me down.

Share This Story