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When a friend asked if used tampons or pads, I responded "I could write love sonnets to tampons." She joked that she would like to see that sometime. I took her at her word.

Illustration for article titled Love Sonnet to a Tampon

Ode to a Tampon

When I was but a lass of ten and one

And innocent: not yet a woman grown,

My life was simple: really 'twas quite zen.

My dear Aunt Flo had not her fury shown.

But then, one day, whilst I did wear white shorts,

A crimson tide did come betwixt my thighs.

I was ashamed before all my cohorts;

This lady-flow did take me by surprise.

'Twas Providence did lead me then anon

To good School Nurse, whose smile shone like a badge.

She handed me my very first tampon.

And said "Here: stick this up your vag."

Thus did begin a pure and true romance:

My cotton chum who saves my underpants.

Photo: Cat Klein
(Whom I was remiss in not crediting sooner.)

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