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My paws are silky smooth and smell like chiz. I used a starter I bought online, went to the organic store where my friend works so I could get a discount on superhippie cream, then used an egg beater to overwhip the cream into butter. I warmed the whey with vinegar, and strained the coagulated curds using the same buttery cheesecloth I used for the initial straining of the butter. Then I shoved the still warm curds down my gaping maw. I mixed in coarse sea salt in with the butter so now tomorrow’s toast will be extra special. And that is how the kitty do.

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