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Maggot Party Update!

So, background, I have a bit of an impulse control problem, especially when tipsy, so last year, Maggot Host got incredibly drunk, and kept giving me drinks until I had alcohol poisoning. The next morning, he blamed my falling on the ground and convulsing on my date, who only gave me one drink, a beer, at the beginning of the party. Maggot Host to this day insists that Ex Who Set His Head On Fire was the one to nearly fatally endrunken me. Maggot Host has actually a problem with endrunkening people, and blaming others for the endrunkening, when clearly he's the only bartender.

Well, my Jesus Freak Slut-Shaming Lynchmob Ringleader was absent, so a great time was had. Well, Maggot Host insisted on ceremoniously pouring me quarter-drinks the entire time, (and also made me a martini with red vermouth...three quarters red vermouth and a thimbleful of gin). Like, saying loudly and clearly, "I am giving you a quarter shot right now" each and every drink, because Bumbleshaming was totally the theme of the party, whilst proceeding to get the "hot" girls around his bar area sloppy drunk. Everyone other than Maggot Host was supercool, even Bar Girls were side-eyeing Maggot Host after a while. We (the Cool) chilled, ate crabs, drank beer and those godawful sugary drinks Maggot Host kept on sending round, while talking about the merits of this actor or that actor in a comic book movie franchise, this game or that game, etc. There were three clearly delineated groups of people: the loudest being our group. The second being Bar Girls and Maggot Host, and the third being Family Of Host. Host's parents were super chill, their boxer was supercute as usual, and Best Friend was hilarious.

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In a bit of cruel irony, Maggot Host anticipated a huge crowd, and so typed up and laminated two, count them, two endrunkening menus. He invited around 50 people. About 15 people came. I feel vindicated, and happy to have seen awesome people with my adorable human. Also...the drugdealer came. Drugdealer had some sort of lime green camaro, with painted oversized rims, and a painted grill. It was the ugliest car we'd ever seen, not unlike an IRL Hot Wheels car. Also, tinted lights. [Shudders] In other words, the man had taken a great car, made it ugly, and modded it with shit that negated all the awesome it could do out of it. Dumbass.

In conclusion, this wasn't as bad as I thought it was gonna be, and actually quite a bit of fun, Maggot Host notwithstanding. Also, in conclusion, I rain deathrays upon your Cities Of Shame.

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