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Making friends as an adult

Hi GT. I know there have been some posts made here in the past about ways to make new connections as an adult. I’m really craving connection and friendship right now, and I was hoping I could get some tips or support.

At the beginning of 2016, I went through a major breakup and moved an hour north to finish college. Very few of the friends I had in my previous city have kept in touch or made any effort to maintain a friendship, and a lot of them fell by the wayside after my breakup too. I really tried, but I couldn’t keep driving an hour plus to see them, and it was kind of time for some of those relationships to end, to be honest. We had just outgrown each other.

I’m a few weeks away from turning 29, and it was just really difficult to connect with people in my classes. It was fine chatting in class about whatever the material was, but none of those relationships have really carried over outside of school. I feel like I’m in this weird pocket between traditional undergrad age and some of the older people in my classes who came back to school at 40+ who are married with grown kids.


I went to a few meetups that were posted in my area but I just didn’t really feel like I connected with anybody, for a lot of reasons. Mostly because I was always the only one unmarried with no children. I know it’s not going to be instantaneous friendship, and I need to keep trying. I’m hoping to take advantage of more chances to get out next semester.

Also, I am really really broke right now, so I can’t afford to go out a lot to the bars or dinner or wherever. My roommate just moved out into a new place, and I am really, really lonely. I am usually pretty extroverted and my energy just feels so low when I don’t have people to hang out with, and I get really depressed. More than a day or so of alone time, and I start really hating life.

I’ll also own up to the fact that I’ve been isolated a lot these past few months, because a friend of mine committed suicide 6 weeks ago, and it’s been incredibly hard for me to reach out and let people get close to me. I want to work on that. I have been, but I know there’s still work to do. Between my friend’s death and my breakup, I’ve felt genuinely afraid of people because of how bad it’s hurt to watch them go. Not to mention the hellstorm it’s been being a liberal in a Texas and not knowing when it’s safe to be real and open.

TL,DR: I am lonely and need new friends, but I’m struggling with making new connections.

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