UPDATE: 10 hours, 2 bird baths in the office sink, 2 coworker-borrowed-fragrance dousings, and one mega garlicky stir fry lunch later (that I hovered over to try and absorb the odor), I STILL smell like that asshole’s cologne. Cannot wait until I get home and can immediately jump in the tub.

FUCK STRONG-SCENTED, INCONSIDERATE MANSPREADERS.

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I rarely encounter manspreaders on my usual route. (Believe me, I consider my life *charmed* in this regard.)

But here I sit, bathed in cologne and contact sweat because the guy who was sitting next to me on this bus apparently needed lots of room for his balls.

My stop is the first on the bus where all seats end up getting filled in, so when I got on and his bag was on the seat, it wasn’t that rude. He did move it when I asked him to but he did not consider being courteous enough to close his legs so they weren’t constantly touching mine or shift his body so his phone wasn’t hanging over my legs and right in my space. (Big man excuse does not cut it here - he was in a full-on leg spread.)

I didn’t muster up the fight to say anything today and sat there sort of defiantly, even after another seat opened up and he started a loud phone call in my ear (sweet-talking a lady with offers of dinners and flowers). Now I am in my office, reeking of someone else’s smell and starting my day kind of disgusted.

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And, no lie, he was wearing a damn fedora.