Here is the one and only MapleSyrup's (fatalsyrup currently) interview!
I would like to remind you that if you haven't done so, check your name on my original thread here.
Maple's interview was a written interview. All answers are theirs. Minor formatting has occurred but none of the answers are edited.
Hi! I'm MapleSyrup, but currently FatalSyrup, because Halloween.
Sometimes I follow directions poorly, as you'll soon see.
- What's your tagline? Depends on the day, but usually, "What the fuck is wrong with you?" That would also be the title of my autobiography. I often say it, and it's more frequently said to me.
- What's your greatest fear? I'm claustrophobic, so I'm seriously afraid any time I can't move/get out from under something/see a clear exit/I am in a crowd. Also, I'm afraid to die alone, or alone and in pain, and I'm afraid to drown or die in a fire. Which is weird, because I often tell people to fuck off and die in a fire. I need to stop saying that.
- Dog vs Cat I'm Team All Animals Except Geese. I would never willingly or intentionally harm one, but I really don't like them.
- Pie vs Cake CAKE. I used to be a baker, and I don't like pie.
- Waffles vs Pancakes THIS ANSWER COULD BE POTENTIALLY DISASTROUS so I'm going to say that MapleSyrup goes well with both.
- Carnivore vs Vegetarian I'm a meat-eater, but down with the veg when I have to be. I'm all for you doing you, just don't be a dick to me when I'm eating a burger. Also, I like my steak really rare, but my burgers charred. Is that weird? That's probably weird.
- Do you know any GTers in real life? Nope, but I'd like to! Y'all are so cool! Does anyone live in Metro Detroit? Don't answer that.
- MORTAL ENEMY! Who is it? The mailman at work. Stop flirting with me, dude. It's unwanted and uncool and I'm about to get nasty. That guy and Rick Snyder and Mitch McConnell. Assholes.
- Vikings vs Pirates? Pirates. I like rum.
- Team Cumberbatch or Team Hiddleston? #TeamCumberbuttcheeks. No but seriously, Hiddleston all the way.
- How did you find GT? I think I fell down some weird cosmic Jezebel rabbit hole, where there was a post on the sidebar from GT, and I was all, "This looks like a fun place to not lose my goddamn mind in rage. Let's hang out here."
- Favorite of your posts on GT? Well, I don't have posting privs, so I'd have to say I generally enjoy it when other people can follow along with my giant weirdo thought process. Or when GTers laugh at my jokes.
- Favorite Gif
- What does your screen name mean? The glorious addendum to various breakfast foods shall be celebrated across Internet forums far and wide. None are too small or too great to feel the wonder that is Maple Syrup. But really, it was straight up random.
- What is your avatar? A bottle of maple syrup
- Favorite post on GT (not yours)? I really like when I see posts about various things happening in everyone's lives. And Curious Squid's posts fascinate me.
- Have you had coffee yet today? I had a blended coffee drink with a double shot of espresso. It would have been fine if I had a regular sized drink, but I got a smaller one and was like, fuck it, double shot! This couldn't possibly go wrong. I was incorrect.
- What was the last meal you ate? The blended coffee drink.
- What would be your dream Final Meal? I'm more curious as to what the hell necessitated me needing a final meal? Did I finally snap? If so and I'm in jail, I want an entire Chinese buffet brought to me.
- What would you buy with $20 at the grocery store? Is this my last $20? Necessities. If it's not my last $20, candy.
- Favorite type of cheese? I can't pick a specific one, but I do prefer milder cheeses that go well with fruit and/or honey. I'm highbrow as hell.
- Most favorite food? Probably some kind of potato-laden thing. I really like tater-tots.
- Least favorite food? Animal organs. Beets. Oysters. Calamari.
- Drink of choice? Rum and Diet Pepsi, or Sapphire Gin and Tonic
- Fast food franchise? Arby's
- What's the last thing you bought on Amazon? Liquid vitamin. I, too, can Adult!
- Who is your Childhood idol? Idol doesn't really describe it for me, so I'm going to substitute that with "Favorite non-relative person" and that would be R. L. Stine.
- Who is your Teen idol? Tim Burton
- Who is your Adult idol? ME. Just kidding. Adults who have their shit together and who can also teach me to have my shit together.
- Who is the one person you wish you could have dinner with (living or dead)? The Dalai Lama, and I'm not trying to be all enlightened and shit. I've heard he has a great sense of humor, and I'd like to make him laugh. If I could make the Dalai Lama laugh, few other things would be as cool. That, or President Obama.
- What is your favorite movie? Secretary
- Favorite bad song/movie/tv show/musician everyone will judge you for? I've got one for each: The Humpty Dance/The Wedding Planner/Korean Dramas/Genesis
- Make an animal sound. I'm really good at imitating cats. I can't really do that in type, but I'll try. Brreouw?
- Did you actually make a sound before typing an answer to question 33? YES. But just to be sure I typed it correctly.
- Favorite word? I have a few: loquacious, mellifluous, prodigal, transubstantiate
- What question would reveal the most about you as a person? "What's your biggest guilty pleasure?"
- Are you lucky? You know what, no, and here's why: My family got all the weird luck and left me with Murphy's Law Syndrome.
- Place you most want to visit? A legitimate castle.
- Favorite vacation? The one's I've taken to Cape Cod, specifically North Truro, MA and Provincetown, MA. Best vacations ever in my life.
Pretend I'm James Lipton…
- What is your least favorite word? Panties. FOADIAF, PANTIES.
- What turns you on? Intelligence and a wicked sense of humor.
- What turns you off? Large elephants with specific political leanings. And poor hygiene.
- What sound or noise do you love? A sports game on in the background, genuine laughter, wind through tall grass.
- What sound or noise do you hate? That smacking chew noise some people make, MRAs talking, anyone saying "I'm not racist/sexist/a bigot, but..."
- What is your favorite curse word? "Fuck" for casual use, "GODDAMN IT" for legitimate anger.
- What profession other than your own would you like to attempt? I wish I were funny or brave enough to be a stand-up comedian
- If heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say when you arrive at the pearly gates? I'd just want a high-five
- Fuck/Marry/Kill I offer no explanations for my answers! Formulate your own!
- Hiddleston, Cumberbatch, Gosling F: Cumberbatch, M: Hiddleston, K: Gosling
- john stewart, stephen colbert, john oliver F: Colbert, M: Oliver, K: Stewart
- doctor who, orphan black, Sherlock F: Sherlock, M: Doctor Who, K: Orphan Black
- captain america, batman, iron man F: Captain America, M: Iron Man, K: Batman
- Donald Trump, Donald Sterling, Donald Duck F: Trump, M: Duck, K: Sterling
- If you could tell your younger self anything, what would you say? "Girl, calm yo' tits. Nobody gives a shit what you do, so do what you want. Also, don't date that guy."
- How do you want to die? As a cranky old lady, Dowager Countess Grantham-style, with a shitload of money people are fighting over, but with a really complicated will. Like a damn tv show.
- If your life were a movie, whom would you want to play you? Young me: Jenna Louise Coleman. Older me: Monica Belucci. Oldest me: Dame Maggie Smith
- Weirdest thing you've ever seen on the internet? Nope. Not going there. Some things you just can't un-see, and I JUST got over it mentally, no joke.
- Weirdest thing to ever happen to you? Not really weird, per se, but cool: I met one of the inventors of birth control in college. He wrote a play I was in called Oxygen and he was cool as shit.
- What's the worst thing you have ever gotten away with? Lying about not knowing the speed limit in my own subdivision when I was caught going 45 in a 25.
- Give me one question to ask the next person. Which unenlightened thought did you formerly espouse as a life mantra?
- What is the best advice anyone has given you? "Clothing lies."
- Favorite fruit Strawberries, or ripe summer peaches.