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Ok, it isn’t actually all that hot. Or at least not that humid. But for some reason all day I’ve felt like this:

Except meltier. Like my bones are non-existent and my muscles can’t possibly work against gravity to keep me upright.


This is the time of year when I buy tons of fresh fruit and make elaborate Jello “salads” which then molder in my fridge because I don’t really like eating them in practice only in theory.

My brain is also going off on weird tangents. Like I assume that “Keeping Up with the Kardashians” is meant to be a play on the whole “Keeping up with the Jones” thing. But could there be an E staffer who has watched and loved Keeping Up Appearances and wants to make a point? Wouldn’t Hyacinth Bucket (Bouquet please, it’s Bouquet) fit right in with all the K’s?

And was the designer of Beyonce’s Met Gala dress referencing the Emperor’s New Clothes?

I just bought frosting at the grocery store too.

See this is why I don’t bother drinking/doing drugs. My brain can act stoned all by itself.

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