If you wear clothes, eat off plates, walk across carpets, shit in a toilet or use a shower, then you are responsible for laundry, dishes, vacuuming, and cleaning the bathroom. If you live someone who engages in identical activities, then you share that responsibility equally. There is no way to get out of arguing that all the things you're responsible for dirtying are not yours to clean.
But Sheryl Sandberg, who just can't stop leaning in, and Adam Grant think men need to have a reason, outside of human decency, to clean up after themselves:
Research shows that when men do their share of chores, their partners are happier and less depressed, conflicts are fewer, and divorce rates are lower. They live longer, too; studies demonstrate that there's a longevity boost for men (and women) who provide care and emotional support to their partners later in life.
Nowhere in there does it say anything about picking up after yourself because imaginary fairies don't pick up the socks off the floor or because you don't live in a goddamn barn. Sandberg is once again pretzeling herself into a mold that must always make sure teh menz are never offended or hurt by any of the requests Lean In makes, including taking out the trash. We women always have to make sure we're sweetly smiling when we make a Supreme Court-level opening argument to our spouses as to why the dishes that are growing mold need to be washed.
"Sweetheart, if you don't wash those crusty dishes for me, you might catch something from the filth and get sick. Plus it would make me happy if you did it! I would love you so much more and brag to all my friends about how you really stepped up!" (Only Kimmy Schmidt can pull that off.)
The article gets better when it hits on childcare:
Stepping up as a father also benefits men. Caring for children can make men more patient, empathetic and flexible and lower their rates of substance abuse. At Fortune 500 companies, when fathers spend more time with their children, they're more satisfied with their jobs. And fatherhood itself has also been linked to lower blood pressure and lower rates of cardiovascular disease.
Nothing like a dad spending more time with the kids so he can be happy at work and avoid getting a heart attack. Again, there's nothing in there about, you know, taking care of your children because they're your children and you have a moral, ethical, and legal responsibility to ensure that they make it to adulthood as decent, intelligent, empathetic human beings — that same responsibility women clearly don't need to be reminded of.
Or as Chris Rock so beautifully said:
Do you ever wonder why some men feel like they just won an Olympic gold medal for changing a diaper? It's because of the assumption that it's not their responsibility in the first place so they're doing everyone else "a favor" when they do women's work. Sandberg's little girl persuasion tactics do nothing but fuel that misconception.
Side note: the more Sandberg writes and talks about this stuff, the more it makes me wonder exactly what type of man she married.
These cutesy arguments are so insulting and condescending towards both genders. With this article, Sandberg and Grant, buy into the assumption that men will do nothing all day but scratch their asses and eat Cheetos if someone or something doesn't give them a compelling reason to do otherwise. These two also buy into the assumption that women are responsible for being the persuasive cheerleaders of the household in order to get anything done.
No and no. (Men, if you're not insulted by this, you should be.)
If you eat, shit, walk, breathe, and sleep in a living scenario, you are responsible for the maintenance and upkeep for that abode. If you have children, you are responsible for their welfare and upbringing. Period. If you do not understand these two statements, then you have failed as an adult and there is no hope for you. No cutesy choreplay bullshit needed.
Dressing up traditional women's work in longer lifespans, life satisfaction, feeling good at the office, and lower divorce rates is on par with bribing a two year old with M&Ms to get his silence for a few minutes. Putting that garbage in the New York Times doesn't make it intelligent or hip either.