Much effing needed. And thankfully, it's here!
I am going to the farm of my Roomie's parents for the next three days. This is the closest to a vaca I've had in over a year! It's not just sitting around because I have to. It's hanging out with 982408329820 dogs, people I enjoy, hopefully some wine and/or Bailey's, and playing Apples to Apples and eating cheese.
I'll be mostly offline. The cabin has no internet, and neither does it have cell reception, but I can get online from the main house. I further internet break wouldn't be horrible...My fish. Oh, my fish. I am starting to think that my mental cycle right now is hormone-based, so off to the doctor after the holidays. Clinical depression isn't something I've ever been diagnosed with, nor do I think I've ever had. Everyone gets depressed, but that doesn't mean that being depressed means you have depression. I am not confident that that's not the case for me right now. But because it comes and goes, I don't really know how to describe it. I will keep a feelings journal, maybe, to be able to describe it to the doctor?
All I know is that when my mood bottoms out, it scares me. I've only felt like this once or twice before. I won't be alone at all for the next few days, so I'll be fine, and my mental state might improve once we leave the city and it's all dogs and cheese.
Some of it might be that I've been overwhelmed. Between whatever is going on between me and PollyDude (GUISE, IT'S REALLY HARD), being homesick, and now coming down with bronchitis...I think it's just too much. It might not be as bad as it seems? Ugh, I don't know.