Did you ever have a dream where you were playing a new video game and drinking a two liter bottle of cream soda and eating a fresh pizza for breakfast? And then when you woke up you realized it was Saturday and you could live that dream because you are a grown-up and no one can tell you what to do? I just spent a week in Merida, Mexico, and my life was living a dream.

(My friends gave me permission to use their pictures so don't freak)

Last week I was in Mexico with four friends, which I will call Jay, Aye, Aytch, and Ess. The above picture is me standing in front of the building right in front of the one we rented. Merida looks like it was at one time a prosperous city but now has a lot of abandoned buildings in all the neighborhoods. I wondered what happened to the city, and what sort of industries it had before. Being from San Francisco, I would have expected this sort of urban decay to come with a healthy share of crime, but that's not the case with Merida. There seems to be a secret public service announcement to "be nice to tourists" because everyone was super nice, even though we weren't in a super built up tourist location.

Though the front of the house we rented was humble, the inside was a fucking palace. The five of us payed less than $200 each for the week, which feels criminal. The weather was tropical and humid so I spent a lot of my time goofing around in the pool in the court yard. During the day we could see iguanas doing sun salutations on the roofs of other buildings and in the night geckos crawled on the ceilings (btw, I want to try to eat iguana, anyone have any recipes?).


Every day we would wake up and ask: what do we want to do today? Hang out in town? See some ancient ruins? Swim in a cenote? (that is a fancy Spanish word for really deep pond in a cave that is probably full of human remains from the Mayans). We did whatever the fuck we wanted.

Here are Jay and Aye in front of Chicken Itza (pronounced "chicken pizza" (not really)). This was an amazing site that still had skull carvings all over the place and was full of iguanas. It was a lot more touristy because there were all sorts of folks trying to sell us hammocks.


This is me in another section of the same city. The repaired parts have concrete because its not like they are trying to hide where they had to reassemble the fallen parts. In this city we weren't allowed to climb on anything.


Afterwards we went for a swim in this cenote which was supposedly 60 meters deep. You can't see it in this picture but there was a walk way where you could jump into the pool from thirty feel up. I jumped in once with Aye but that was enough for me because I hate heights and pools of water that are unreal deep with human skulls at the bottom and probably full of anacondas.

So anyone remember when I was talking about shaving my head? The women on this trip are the ones that talked me out of it. I was still threatening to do it because it was balls hot so my friends tried to cut my hair on their own. I was in a powerful position in that if I didn't like it, I would just shave it off anyway. My friends think I made them sound like bitches in my original post, so if they read this I'm sorry about that. You guys are very much not bitches.


The operation was a success, but part of the agreement was that I would get to shave Aye's beard the way I wanted, which turned into this:


Which brings us to the Merida zoo. Reviews online said shit like, "if you like animals, this place is sad," but the truth is that this was the best fucking zoo any of us have ever been to. First point: its free. Second point: so many fucking big cats. Third point: all animals so close you can touch them. Lets face it, all zoos are kind of sad. They are prisons for animals that have committed no crimes. But as long as you acknowledge that, some zoos are better than others, and Merida is the best.





Anyway, the whole week was one of the best in my life. My friends were awesome, the food was always great, and the weather, even when it was flooding the streets with typhoon rains, was always a blast. I really wish I was still in Mexico.



I gained a bit of weight on this trip, fucking sue me.


I still wish I knew what happened to this town. Maybe I buy I house here because its so cheap.

Aye weighs about 40 lbs less than me but he has baboon strength. They had these benches every where but we never defeated one another arm wrestling.