Hi there Conservitives at CPAC.
You may have noticed that people were passing out promo material with the Microsoft logo on it. It's nothing suspicious. It's just that we think you would love to have some ads on our systems, specifically our Xbox Live System.
I know what you're thinking, "Why would a bunch of nerds vote for us?". That's the good part about this. They aren't nerds anymore. They are like us. All I would have to do is let you listen in on some Call of Duty online play. The talk just like you, except for one thing: They don't have to use codewords. When you say "thug" they say *looks around and whispers* the n-word. When you say "promiscuous women" they say "whores". The only thing is they don't know that they are future Republicans. I feel, with some help form Microsoft, you should be able to pull in some of these non voters to vote Republican in future elections.
Thank you for your time CPAC and, good luck in 2114...you are going to need it.