We spent the day with my folks—the dude helped my dad in the yard, I went shopping with my mother...as the microwave stopped working. The timer would go, but nothing would heat.

Off we go to BJs! And we get a microwave—neither of us are fans because it's white, looks retro, and is tall, but hey, a microwave is a microwave.

And then we go home. And it doesn't sit flat on the counter.

Fine, we've seen the stock at BJs, not fans, off to Target! They have one she likes, but it doesn't seem to be there. So, we goto the service desk, who sends us back and sends a person to meet us. Who, though helpful, can not locate the one that they should have in stock. He directs us to the next Target, a 10 mile drive.

Well, we still have to go to BJs to return the 1st microwave, but there's a Kohl's on the way so we stop. No microwaves are actually being displayed, but we see one! A MasterChef one. We carry it 500 ft to check price—$100...you gotta be kidding me.

We leave it there and go to BJs for surprisingly fast return. By then, my dad calls and says they're hungry. So lunch detour!

But after lunch—TO THE MALL! Where she picks out the black, small microwave she liked...only to take it home and find a dent.


BACK TO THE TARGET! Only to bring one home that doesn't heat anything. At this point, she's freaking out about how it's the outlets (which makes no sense as the timer's going, the plate's turning, just nothing is heating) and we try a bunch. No dice.

BF and I take the old one home—petrified that when we try it, it'll work.

Thankfully, nope.

But what the fuck kind of luck does my mummy have?!?! And please, people, tonight, hug your microwaves tight.