So I'm sitting here about to have some sort of nervous breakdown/curl into a ball and cry.

I was tagged in a bunch of photos on facebook from a friendsgiving event. I'll save you all the nitpicking, but I looked at myself and burst into tears. I had my hair cut short today and I burst into tears afterwards even though it looks nice and the stylist did a great job.

So then I went over to my parents and got on their exercise bike in the garage and burned off the calories of the small bowl of raisin bran I had this morning. Because that's totally productive and going to help.

I feel bloated all day, every day. I don't want to eat because I already feel like my insides are too big for my skin. I don't eat badly when I do eat, and I eat a lot of vegetables. I work out and I'm on my feet a lot.

I've narrowed down what's happening to four possible scenarios:

-I stopped taking the pill a year and a half ago. My hormones are fucking crazy and could've contributed to weight gain.


-I have a thyroid problem.

-I'm getting older and my metabolism hates me.

-something else.

So besides doing the usual routine of crying on the floor whenever this happens and wanting to just crawl out of my skin because I can't stand myself, I adulted and scheduled two doctors doctors appointments. One for an OBGYN and one for a GP.