It’s no secret I’m annoyed at work. Vindication is mine though. I was recently given feedback that I’m too directive (aka a bitch). Too direct. Too directive. Need to soften my approach.

I had some coordinators in an another country who supposed to work under my direction to achieve certain goals and supervise a team based in another country. My company is on a trend of moving departments to lower cost countries so getting them trained up from scratch remotely is hard. The onsite coordinators simply declined to follow my instructions and caused chaos. I was, indeed, very direct with them once I realized they were ignoring all my instructions. It was my job to direct their work.

My boss’s idea of solving problems is not holding people accountable, but being nicer. He advised me to be nicer and become their friends. Show them how much I care about their personal life. One of them finally moved to a new role and said he left because of me being too “directive”. AKA, I’m a bitch. So all hell broke loose for me. I’m a bitch who runs people off.

Fast forward a year. Another business unit is doing similar work and their department crashed and burned so bad that they put the entire thing on pause. They hired my problem coordinator (that’s were he went) who gave her all the same issues. I offered to help her so we got on a conference call. My boss was there. She was so frustrated. She just repeating exactly this statement, “I have to be so directive them. I’ve never had to be directive in my career. You just have to be so DIRECTIVE and even then it doesn’t work.”.


I really think if I was a man, no one would care if I was directive when I was put in charge of DIRECTING a department.


Rant away. Tell your stories of workplace misogyny or just what you are doing today.