aka If You "Fall In Love" with Stuff, Your Heart Is As Easily Broken As A Bathroom Window

As someone who has been the victim of a couple burglaries, I should be more empathetic to this woman's plight. And yet... not so much. I would likewise be crushed if my family heirlooms were taken, I admit, but then, they wouldn't ever be stolen as they hold worth only to me/my family. As a proletariat through and through, sometimes, just sometimes, having ostentation slap someone across the face is the only little reassurance I get that there's something akin to balance in this world (there isn't, but whatever). Anyway, on to the story...

This story features 3000 square feet.Of closet. CLOSET. Most humans don't live in that much space, even in this country, which is so often an enormous church for worshiping your own collection o' crap.

She made the wise decision of more effectively showing off her stuff, you know, aside from the [Author's Entirely Accurate Opinion: hideous] mansion in which these folks live, by giving Good Morning, America a tour of said closet, aka purse bungalow, or shoe castle, or jewelry abode. Essentially, they told the thief where they lived, invited the burglar in, and pointed out where all the good stuff was kept.