I was feeling bummed out last night so I went on a long, drunken walk. I'm not saying that I spray-painted this onto the sidewalk, but I wholeheartedly agree with it.

I hope anyone who walks by it feels uplifted, or encouraged, even for a moment. ....But they will probably just scowl and think, "What fucking asshole did this to my goddamn sidewalk?"

Anyway, I was bummed because my hours got majorly cut at work yesterday. I've only been there four-ish months and I am rocking so hard, I saved my boss like $1000 in revenue since the middle of last month that would've been lost had I not been auditing his shit. (AND I love this damn job.) So I'm like, awesome, maybe I'll get a raise after my 6 month review. But nope, my hours got cut and he said he's going to "hold off as long as I can from putting you on part time."

Fucking shitty. I feel like a huge loser. I don't even have a degree in anything, so if I need to get a new job no one will want me anyway because all the skills I've acquired don't count for anything without a piece of paper saying they do.

Should I go back to college? I tried to go right after I graduated high school, but that was back when I was still in that shitty cult and the "Elders" in the congregation pulled me into the back room and quoted that scripture about a slave not being able to serve two masters, and how a person can't be a slave of God and a slave of Satan, or some wack-ass shit, saying that attending college is the same thing as serving Satan. (OKEY-FUCKIN' DOKEY, WOW, right?) That basically crushed me and I tried to keep going to school, but I felt so guilty and every time I was around people from my old religion they would make concerned comments or just outright scold me and say they couldn't associate with me anymore, so I dropped out. (Also, I had no money.)

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But now I'm 27 and I want to do something that will benefit me. Is one of those 2 year things worth it? Most jobs I look at say "4-year degree" on them. If I do a 2 year thing, I can always turn it into a 4 year thing, right? Or no?

I just want to be able to pay my bills and stop feeling like such a loser.

Thanks for reading my mope rant. :P