Welcome To The Bitchery
Welcome To The Bitchery

Welp, I forgot one organizational to-do on my long mental moving checklist. I forgot to hire movers (unloaders?) to get all my stuff from the shipping cube into my apartment. I get there Wednesday and offices are closed for the night, and tomorrow I’m again on the road with no internet/cell reception. I’ve been traveling for days—through the mountains and plains and long-forgotten corners of this grand ol’ country. I very obviously am a city girl, and everyone can smell it on me. IF ANYONE WANTS TO MAKE SOME MONEY AND GAIN MY FOREVER UNDYING LOVE AND IS IN MY NEW CITY THIS WEDNESDAY AND WANTS TO DO SOME HORRIBLE PHYSICAL LABOR HEEEEEEELP ME. Seriously. That sounds fun, no? You say “yes” and name your city and I’ll tell you if it’s the right one.

BUT! New question of the moment: If you were a vegetable, which one would you be? Please carefully take into consideration the larger plant from which you come, your raw vs. cooked properties, and your color, texture, and crunch capacity.

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ETA: This is not the forum to debate fruits vs. vegetables! If you really believe in a plant that you consider a vegetable, then that’s what it is! For instance, I call anything that can go in a salad and/or does not qualify as dessert a vegetable. Hence, celery. Also, controversially, tomatoes. Okra is gross, but it’s a vegetable. Strawberries are deeeelicious, but they have no place in salads (and are totes dessert items), so fruit.

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