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Musical Tears

(Trigger Warning: Crying, Death, and Beyonce) While in shopping at Wal-Mart this morning, I started to cry. Not because I walked through the onion section or anything but because a song started playing on my phone and it trigger emotions.

When I met my biological father three years ago, he let me know that my middle name was from his mother. I thought it was sweet and cool. In the next breath, he let me know that she had died a couple of years earlier. She died before I could even meet her. She died before my father could tell her he found me (or really my Aunt found me using Facebook of all things) and I was okay. It dawn on me then that I would never be able to meet my grandmother.

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When I had talked with my father, his sisters and brothers, and my sisters about her(rather when they bring her up), they all have fond memories of her and sometimes I even remind them of her. I try to hold myself together each and every time she is brought up until I can go to some place private to cry:


Unless I am talking with them, I tried to not think about it too much (cause crying and what-not). All that changed when I first really gave this song a listen:

(It's only the audio)

Damn it, Beyonce. Not only did she put out an album that contain over 9 songs I could write long personal essays to but she also put out a song that reminds me of my decesed grandmother that I never knew every time I play it. Usually it plays on my way to work (that way I can cry and sing as loud as I want) but this time the song decided to play while I was trying to grab some Marie Callender's Chicken Pot Pies. I guess this is a stage of grief. I really don't know and am guessing I will be staying in this stage for a while if it is.

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Do you have any songs that make you cry? How do you handle it?

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