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My Body is NOT Up for Discussion

I wasn't aware my body was an appropriate topic of discussion for strangers, but apparently I was wrong. Today I got random, strange compliment on a just as random body part. Well, at least it wasn't the typical cat calling "hey beautiful! Nice tits/ass" you'd generally get from random strangers who feel the need to discuss your body in public. I've been complimented on them before, but it always strikes me as slightly odd and takes me off guard...then again, sure beats being asked if I'm pregnant, like I was the other week. The body part in question?

Calves. My calves. My regular old, lazy, normal calves. Is it just me that finds that a little odd for a total stranger to compliment? Today while running errands, I was stuck in line waiting and some strange dude struck up a huge conversation with me by telling me how "absolutely lovely" my calves are! This wasn't the first time either. The time before this, the guy proceeded to tell me I have "nice calves, like a stripper" (which is hilarious, because I did have a stripper pole in my house at one point). Another time some guy asked how on earth I got such nice calves, demanding to know my calf secrets (as though I've been guarding the formula from the world), because he's been having a terrible time trying to accentuate his. I'm not quite sure why these dudes find mine so appealing, they're really not all that special, or at least I don't think so, it's not like I've worked out or exercised regularly in years, and even then my calves were the area of least concern (hello, love handles!?). It's happened on with another body part also, when some guy gushed about how extraordinary and will defined my collar bones are. I mean I know it's generally the nice ass and/or tits, but I guess I've never really sat down and thought about how sexy collar bones and calves can be.


But why are these up for public discussion!? I must have missed the memo that mentioned it's totally a-OK to openly comment on strangers body parts right to their faces, in public, where other people are around. I can't think of a single (sober) time I wandered up to a guy and said "hey bro, the beautiful structure of your ankles gets me so fucking hot! Mmm!", because if I did people would think I was either A) high, B) drunk, C) crazy or D) some combination of a, b, and c, and I wouldn't disagree with them. Why? Because it's not cool, and it's pretty creepy. Maybe it's a little different when it happens to men, I don't know, I don't have a penis, so all I can say for sure is that my vagina doesn't think it's very impressive.

Maybe it's just a simple compliment, and I'm taking this too far. Compliments are nice, and they make us feel good, and fuzzy inside, right? Well, most of the time, but some things are just better left unsaid when interacting with strangers in public. There is absolutely no need for you to discuss my body within the first 30 seconds of meeting me. I don't care if you hate my body, or if you love it and just can't get enough of it; I don't want to hear about your opinions regarding any of my appendages, and my body does not require your approval. So shut the fuck up and leave my body be! There are ways to compliment a person you find attractive without being a creepy asshole who crosses the line and makes everyone uncomfortable. If you find someone attractive, great! More power to you, but I'm going to recommend not opening with strange body comments, as the failure rate of this tactic is astounding. Why not just try some general friendly conversation? I get wanting to make a good impression and stand out, but you'd best brainstorm some new ideas, because sooner or later the only impression this will leave is the indent of a fist in your face when you try those creepy ass lines on the wrong person one day.

I'm not out everyday to impress anyone but me. Sure, a compliment here or there is great, and can brighten my day - IF it's appropriate! Wouldn't a simple 'you're beautiful' work much better than getting creepy and waaayyy to specific about a part of my body you've clearly been gawking at? C'mon now, is that really to much to ask? I think not!

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