I just wanted to thank everyone for your messages of concern and endearment. Things are looking up, butt-wise, tonight, and I wanted to share the message of hope that a butt that hurts one night is not necessarily a downward spiral into a never-ending odyssey of butt pain.

If my butt can rally, so too can anyone's. Where there's butt-life, there's butt-hope. Please, never forget that. Please. If I've taught you anything, let it be that.